"and if my result goes south, i'd swallow my pride with an aspirin and shut my mouth."

i feel weak. i hate myself. i feel dumb. i want to go back and say i will not play today this isn't my day. because i play really bad today and i feel bad and there's something bothering me because i do mistakes throughout the game. i mean, my mental goes south now because of that game. it's so close maaaaaaan cmn stngh bola. and it's really baad for me because tarlim cup x is a week away and if i play that bad, there might be a chance we can't have tarlim cup xi. which is super bad. and i don't feel well physically which makes things worse. ugh. i hope i will get better before tarlim cup x, wish me luck! i must be optimistic! i must not let myself down!

sorry if my grammar sucks. i think i say something without really thinking and checking my grammar hahah

and sorry if i let my team down, because i did a lot of bad things today. and oy, you, i know you don't really like me, but if it's for the team, would you do it? i don't ask you to like me, i just ask you to COOPERATE. yeah. okay? thank you. i mean, not that she would ever read this because beside agatha nia and astrid, kayanya gaada yg baca ini, sooo....